Episode Summary
In this theologically rich episode, Derek exposes a spiritual trap many spouses fall into: believing they can discern what their spouse needs to change — while completely ignoring their own immaturity, disobedience, or fruitlessness.
This episode dismantles the counterfeit discernment and judgment that form when a spouse weaponizes scripture, walks in emotional deception, or sees the fruit of their spouse’s sin but misses the root in themselves.
Derek walks through key biblical stories (including Matthew 21, Ezekiel 8, and Luke 6), calling out the type of “standing” that isn’t built on repentance, but rather pride and self-righteousness. He confronts why many standing spouses are actually resisting correction — and why God isn’t allowing breakthrough yet because He will not be mocked.
If you’ve ever thought “my spouse is the problem,” this episode will shake you and set you free.
What You’ll Learn
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How spiritual immaturity disguises itself as discernment
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What it means to “bear fruit in keeping with repentance” (Luke 3:8)
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Why some standing spouses are under God’s judgment, not His delay
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How to discern when your “judgment” is really self-protection
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Why unrepentant spouses often default to legalism, performance, or blame
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What the fig tree reveals about fruitless appearances (Matthew 21)
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How Ezekiel 8 exposes false worship and secret rebellion in the temple
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The difference between spiritual observation vs. spiritual authority
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Why “truth without love” and “correction without humility” is still flesh
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What it means to remove the plank before addressing your spouse’s sin
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How false judgment breeds pride, division, and delayed restoration
Featured Scriptures
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Luke 6:42 – “First remove the plank from your own eye…”
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Matthew 21:18–22 – Jesus curses the fig tree that looked fruitful but wasn’t.
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Luke 3:8 – “Bear fruit worthy of repentance.”
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Galatians 6:1 – “Restore them gently, but watch yourself…”
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Ezekiel 8 – False worship and idolatry hidden in God’s own temple
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Hebrews 5:12–14 – “By now you ought to be teachers…”
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Romans 2:1–5 – “You pass judgment on others but do the same things.”
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Proverbs 26:12 – “There is more hope for a fool than for someone wise in their own eyes.”
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James 3:17–18 – The wisdom from above is pure, peace-loving, submissive…
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1 Peter 4:17 – Judgment begins in the house of God
Key Takeaways
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Many “standing” spouses are actually resisting God by refusing to repent.
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Spiritual immaturity leads to false judgment — where you evaluate your spouse’s sin through a lens of pride and comparison.
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Fruitful standing begins with fruitful repentance — not performance or blame.
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God will not entrust restoration to someone who still justifies their old ways.
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Many are quick to identify their spouse’s sin but completely blind to their self-righteousness, control, or passivity.
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Restoration won’t come until God can trust the one praying for it.
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The fig tree is a prophetic picture: you can’t fake fruitfulness.
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It’s not enough to be “right” — your character must be holy, humble, and ready to carry reconciliation.
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Judgment without love is just legalism wrapped in spiritual language.
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God doesn’t respond to religious accuracy — He responds to repentant authority.
📣 Calls to Action
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📚 Get the Ebooks
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The Jezebel Effect
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My Spouse Wants a Divorce, But I Don’t
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