Submission, Control, and Manipulation in Marriage [PART 1] | S2 E6

Episode Summary

In this bold and confronting episode, Derek and Jordan expose one of the most spiritually deceptive patterns happening inside marriages today — using “maturity,” “peace,” or “discernment” as a cover for silence, passivity, or avoidance.

Many standing spouses say things like “I’m not trying to control,” “I’m just surrendering them to God,” or “I don’t want to stir anything up,” when in reality, they are afraid of conflict, unwilling to confront sin, and deceived into thinking their emotional management is the same as spiritual authority.

This episode dismantles the counterfeit version of maturity and shows you what it actually means to confront with the fruit of the Spirit, not the fruit of your trauma.

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🧠 What You’ll Learn

• The difference between spiritual maturity and emotional passivity

• Why many spouses hide behind “peace” to avoid hard conversations

• What it means to confront in the Spirit vs. confront from the soul

• Why God commands confrontation and truth in relationships

• How fear, people-pleasing, or perfectionism keep spouses from healthy engagement

• Why false definitions of love and submission lead to silence

• How Scripture defines righteous rebuke and spiritual correction

• Why some spouses think they’re being holy when they’re actually being controlled

• What it looks like to confront your spouse without controlling them

• How to discern when silence is righteous and when it’s rebellion

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📖 Featured Scriptures

• 2 Timothy 1:7 – “God has not given us a spirit of fear…”

• James 4:17 – “To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”

• Galatians 6:1 – “If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore them gently…”

• Proverbs 27:5–6 – “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.”

• Ecclesiastes 3:7 – “A time to be silent and a time to speak.”

• Hebrews 12:6–11 – “The Lord disciplines the one He loves…”

• Ephesians 4:15 – “Speak the truth in love…”

• Matthew 18:15–17 – “Go and show him his fault between you and him alone…”

• Colossians 3:13–14 – “Bear with one another and forgive…”

• 1 Corinthians 13:6 – “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”

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⚠️ Key Takeaways

• Maturity is not silence — maturity is obedience.

• Spiritual maturity requires you to confront, engage, and speak up when the Holy Spirit leads — not when it’s emotionally convenient.

• Avoidance is not wisdom. Peace doesn’t always mean passive.

• If you’re unwilling to confront in love, you are also unwilling to protect what God gave you.

• “Letting God handle it” doesn’t mean staying silent when you’re called to speak.

• Conflict is not the enemy — carnality is.

• Righteous confrontation doesn’t mean being aggressive or controlling — it means being courageous and clean.

• Many spouses are calling fear “wisdom” and emotional comfort “discernment.”

• If you always need to “feel peace” before confronting sin, you’re not led by the Spirit — you’re led by your soul.

• Maturity is measured by your obedience, not your quietness.

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📣 Calls to Action

🎧 If you felt convicted, stirred, or encouraged by this episode—don’t stop here. You need tools, structure, community, and Spirit-led guidance to walk out your second vow with power.

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🔗 Take the Next Step in Your Marriage Restoration Journey

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➡ Join the Marriage Revival Hub
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➝ https://www.skool.com/marriage

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