Beyond the Checklist:
Free Training from The Marriage Revival Hub
This is a FREE training pulled directly from inside The Marriage Revival Hub.
You can watch it in full below and walk through the exact teaching we normally reserve for Hub members.
If you’ve been considering joining, you can get a 7-day free trial right now and access not only this session, but every teaching, resource, and activation inside the Hub:
➡ Start your free trial here
The Marriage Revival Hub is where we train and equip spouses for Biblical restoration, marriage revival, and God-centered growth. Inside, you’ll get:
-
All Masterclass replays from Seasons 1 & 2
-
Step-by-step activations to actually do the Word
-
Access to the full restoration teaching library
-
A like-minded community committed to walking this out
We decided to make this particular session ungated because it addresses one of the most common pitfalls we see: the desire for a quick fix instead of the slow, Spirit-led process of real transformation.
Watch the teaching below, then keep reading for the full written article, Scripture list, and activation.
Beyond the Checklist: Why Quick Fixes Fail Marriages and How to Build a Marriage That Lasts
In nearly every coaching call, group session, or message we receive, the same questions come up over and over:
-
What does “doing the Word” actually mean in my marriage?
-
What if my spouse refuses to acknowledge their sin?
-
What if they won’t talk to me?
-
What if they aren’t repentant?
-
What if my spouse feels spiritually dead?
-
What if Jezebel and Ahab have taken root in our marriage?
-
What if we’re not having sex—or one of us is withholding?
-
What if they’re listening to outside voices?
-
What if they’re actively in their sin?
-
What if I’m no longer attracted to them?
-
What if we don’t have any real community or support?
We think what we need are direct answers to each of these questions, but if we’re honest, that’s not actually what will save our marriage.
If I gave you a checklist of practical steps right now—write a letter, say this phrase, schedule this many date nights, attend this class, read this book—you might feel temporarily empowered. But deep down you’d know it’s not sustainable. You’ve seen that before. Some of you have already lived in a marriage where everything was reduced to performance, metrics, and rituals—and it was lifeless.
Why “Just Tell Me What to Do” Doesn’t Work
Jordan used to believe that if someone would just hand her the instruction manual, it would all work out.
Just give me the steps and I’ll do them.
But that mindset keeps you trapped in spiritual infancy.
-
It keeps you from developing maturity and discernment.
-
It keeps you in partial obedience rather than full surrender.
-
It keeps you dependent on a human coach instead of the Holy Spirit.
The Bible calls this being taught by the anointing. And no, that’s not some mystical, untouchable concept. Scripture shows two primary uses for the word “anointing”:
-
Anointing with oil – a physical, symbolic act of consecration.
-
Anointing as internal equipping – the Spirit-led guidance and wisdom God imparts directly into your life.
“As for you, the anointing [the special gift, the preparation] which you received from Him remains permanently in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you. But just as His anointing teaches you [giving you insight through the presence of the Holy Spirit] about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as His anointing has taught you, you must remain in Him [being rooted in Him, knit to Him].”
— 1 John 2:27
If you constantly need someone else to tell you every step, you’ll remain stuck in spiritual infancy. Hebrews 5 says there comes a point where we ought to be teachers ourselves, but instead we’re still living on milk (still asking for the same basics again and again) because we’ve never exercised our own obedience and discernment.
Thousands of Moments Have Built This Marriage
Your marriage didn’t become what it is today because of one major event.
It’s the sum of thousands of moments—thousands of choices, interactions, and missed opportunities.
-
Moments where the fruit of the flesh was present.
-
Moments where dysfunction was normalized.
-
Moments that were intentionally destructive.
-
Moments that were simply neglected.
And yet, when God calls us to start living out His Word (praying without ceasing, guarding our heart, speaking life) we try it for a week or two, then decide it’s “not working” and return to frustration.
But the truth is: the same way you contributed to thousands of ungodly moments without a coach walking you through each one, you are now called to contribute to thousands of moments of obedience.
This is why we give people an activation like the one below.
Yes, it’s a lot.
Yes, it takes time.
But it’s the work that actually transforms a marriage from the inside out.
The Activation: Returning to Sonship and Daughterhood
Here’s your starting point.
This is not a checklist to complete in one weekend—it’s a lifelong posture.
Under each one, write down three tangible actions you can take to do the Word in that area.
Live above reproach.
1 Timothy 3:2
Pray without ceasing.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Walk in humility.
Philippians 2:3
Stand firm in the truth.
Ephesians 6:14
Guard your heart.
Proverbs 4:23
Speak life over your marriage.
Proverbs 18:21
Resist the enemy.
James 4:7
Cling to God’s Word.
Psalm 119:11
Forgive without delay.
Ephesians 4:32
Lead with love and grace.
Colossians 3:14
Pursue righteousness.
1 Timothy 6:11
Walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7
Honor your spouse daily.
1 Peter 3:7
Protect your unity.
Ephesians 4:3
Seek wisdom in all things.
James 1:5
Write the vision and make it plain.
Habakkuk 2:2
Speak with Godly understanding.
Proverbs 2:6
Walk in the fruit of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23
Be washed and taught by the anointing.
1 John 2:27
Wash your spouse in the Word.
Ephesians 5:26
Pursue discipleship.
Matthew 28:19
Build a community around you.
Hebrews 10:24-25
Strive for financial stability.
Proverbs 21:20
Show kindness in all you do.
Ephesians 4:32
Encourage each other in faith.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Lay down pride in your relationship.
Proverbs 11:2
Trust in God’s timing and process.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Let go of offenses quickly.
Matthew 6:14-15
Show respect in words and actions.
Ephesians 5:33
Be patient in trials.
Romans 12:12
Let God’s love be the foundation.
1 John 4:8
Keep your thoughts pure and holy.
Philippians 4:8
Seek unity in all decisions.
Colossians 3:14
Walk in forgiveness, even when hard.
Matthew 18:21-22
Make time to study the Word together.
Psalm 119:105
Serve each other selflessly.
Galatians 5:13
Be slow to speak and quick to listen.
James 1:19
Avoid harsh words; choose peace.
Proverbs 15:1
Work together as one body in Christ.
Ephesians 5:31
Trust in God’s promises for your marriage.
2 Peter 1:4
Be intentional with your time together.
Ephesians 5:15-16
Do not allow the sun to set on your anger.
Ephesians 4:26
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21
Rejoice in each other’s strengths.
Romans 12:15
Be quick to admit wrongs and seek reconciliation.
Matthew 5:23-24
Remain sober-minded and vigilant.
1 Peter 5:8
Always aim to glorify God in your marriage.
1 Corinthians 10:31
Clothe yourselves with compassion and gentleness.
Colossians 3:12
Develop a heart of gratitude together.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Rebuild trust through integrity and consistency.
Proverbs 10:9
Cast your anxieties on God together.
1 Peter 5:7
Seek God’s guidance before major decisions.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Be a refuge and safe space for one another.
Proverbs 14:26
Walk in truth and transparency.
John 8:32
Surrender selfish desires for the greater good.
Philippians 2:4
Pursue peace and reconciliation always.
Romans 12:18
Remember your vows and commitment.
Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
Place your trust in God’s provision for your home.
Philippians 4:19
Pursue purity in thoughts and actions.
1 Timothy 4:12
Obedience Is the Real Transformation
The foundation of marriage restoration isn’t a formula—it’s obedience.
“To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”
— 1 Samuel 15:22
Not partial, not conditional, not occasional obedience but daily obedience to God’s Word.
If you’ll commit to living out this list—not as a checklist, but as a lifestyle—you’ll start to see tangible growth in yourself.
And as you grow, your marriage will encounter the overflow of that transformation.
Not every spouse will respond immediately. Some may resist. Some may stay hardened for a season.
But you will have built your life on something unshakable.
That’s when you’ll see that marriage restoration isn’t about the quick fix—it’s about the slow, steady, Spirit-led return to God’s design.
